21st Century. The world has set the stage for us to feel that doing, succeeding and achieving are the measure of self worth. We set unrealistic expectations based on our view of the world that mostly can never be met, to allow for guilt, failure and despondency to set in and nurture negative core beliefs.
Instead of Beings, we become Human Doings. We embrace a relentless cycle of exhaustion and emptiness, with the media and marketing trying to sell us our next big dream/happiness. No wonder self worth and beliefs become distorted. In a world where happiness is based on material content and "must haves" we are always just a moment away from true happiness, or so they would have us believe.
So what if instead of buying (literally) into the idea that material creates fulfilment, we stepped out to invest in the true joy of existing and living. The joy of realising that we are enough. That sense of fulfillment in that feeling confident that our best is all we can do and the judgement of this was based on our own inner peace. To talk to ourselves in a nurturing and encouraging manner based on an understanding that we can take back control over our own joy by resetting our expectations. Examining our values and what they bring to us. We set the stage, we take back control over how we find our own happiness.
People have many perceptions about what they think hypnotherapy is like. The most common link is to stage hypnosis where people feel that they are going to be running around like a chicken. Therapeutic and clinical hypnosis is a very different process in that it works beneficially with the client to help them make changes and positive shifts in their patterns of behaviour. Some of the beliefs that we have held about ourselves often develop in younger years. By using hypnosis, it is a safe and gentle process of working with those beliefs by working with the subconscious mind. The process itself is extremely relaxing and restorative.
How many times have you arrived at your destination and then suddenly thought that you don't remember any of the journey? Did I stop at the red light? Did I give way at the right times? The reason for this is your subconscious mind knows the route. Your conscious mind takes a back seat coming into play if an emergency response is required. The process of hypnosis is the same. Your conscious mind is quietened and relaxes to allow the subconscious mind to take over and this is where suggestions for positive change to dysfunctional behaviours and beliefs can be altered. Changes can only happen if you want and are willing for this process, so you can not be made to do something that doesn't sit right with you on a moral or ethical level.
Whilst we embrace and enjoy the warmer weather and the changing of the seasons, I thought it would be lovely to share some thoughts about the way we deal with change for ourselves.
There are many people that enjoy change and the new opportunities that this brings, but for a lot of us, the fear of the unknown can create anxiety and uncertainty. We all know that change is inevitable and we are, like the world around us, constantly evolving. However, learning to feel comfortable with change can feel like an impossible task for some.
One of the strategies that I use with clients is a "downward ladder" system. By working through systematically from the presenting fear or thought it is possible to uncover the belief that the client holds, which holds them back from trusting in their own capabilities when dealing with change.
Anxiety loves us to work from assumptions. These assumptions can be cognitively challenged to allow the client to recall times when they have managed change positively, increasing their confidence. If you would like to know more about how challenging thoughts can help you positively deal with change and anxiety then please do not hesitate to contact me:
When reading an article today about things to remove from your life to make yourself happier, I started to think about how frequently managing expectation is part of the work clients undertake.
Many of the items on the list were linked to freeing ourselves from the impossible and uncontrollable limitations we place on ourselves. Never ending to do lists, constant comparisons to others via social media, over inflated career goals and so forth. But, what if we challenged these self created beliefs? What if we took time to actually separate ourselves from the restrictions that expectations place on us, thus resetting the bar? After all if we as humans make up society and society creates and defines, then why not reclaim that power for yourself?
Expectations are like the tale of the overflowing porridge pot. Spilling out and consuming everything in its path. By lowering the expectations we hold for ourselves, it allows us the freedom to set achievable standards and goals that increase our self worth and confidence rather than create anxiety.
For many people the constant inner dialogue they have can be exhausting. From the moment they wake up, a continual negative conversation eroding any chance of positivity influencing their thoughts. Becoming aware of the language we use towards ourselves is the key to bringing about change. Negative language is often very rule based, with frequent use of "should not, must not and ought to". Rather than celebrating the day to day successes we achieve, we focus on the imperfections.
So, how do we start to train our minds to acknowledge and see the positives? One simple trick is to think about how you would talk to your best friend. I'm sure that if your best friend came to you, telling you they were disappointed about how they dealt with something, you would do your utmost to lift their spirits. No doubt you would pick out the positives in their actions and use encouraging words. Imagine at the end of the day if you spoke to yourself in the same way? Imagine how your inner best friend would respond. When you feel your inner critic beginning to dominate your thoughts allow your inner best friend to bring to your attention all the wonderful, positive things you have achieved.